your thong is hanging out like whoa
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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