She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
