Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
