It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it's like iHOP with fire
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
