Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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