Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
