He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
