I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
