It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
