Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
