Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
