I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
