i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
