I hope mine doesn't look like that
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
