just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
