what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize