plz talk dirty to me
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
