bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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