he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
