He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
