You just made me feel so damn special
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
