Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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