This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
