You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I smell like Dick and happiness
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