Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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