All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
