i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
4 words: hood of his car
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Of course I have a pirate flag
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Drunk is not a location!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
