you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
