; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
