Having a random hookup so left but love u
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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