is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Found your dick twin last night
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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