Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
