We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize