i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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