I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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