Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
