That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
