I molested 6 butterflies tonight
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
