Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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