So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
