grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
