Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
