did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
