i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize