I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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