Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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