Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
