No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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