Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
