its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
