It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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