that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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