wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
