Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think your dad took our porno
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
