i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
