Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Randomize