what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
