Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
