Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
