I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
