You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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