Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
