Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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